minicloud.com
I’m gonna rain on you.

I needed an outlet right now.

Just to say what I feel. It really doesn’t help that monoxious is experiencing some screwy database update that basically killed the whole site for a good 51hrs so far. And that took away my only other outlet for distraction from all this mess I am facing.

Extremely grateful for friends who will stand fiercely with me and defend me in times of need and even the support of Dawn’s mum made me cry uncontrollably. I’m sorry I haven’t shared much to some people, I just didn’t think it was necessary, it’s just going to be repeating the pain. I’ve only spoken to 3 person directly about it so far. You know who you guys are.

I detest crying and I’d like to think that it takes a lot more for me to cry these days but it feels much worse when you stop yourself from crying thinking you’re stronger. I’m not that brave after all and there’s so many questions in my head that keeps running especially before my sleep.

Which brings me to the point of me sleeping for only 1 hr after staying up for 38hours. It wasn’t deliberate. This has to set some record for super emo-ness but unfortunately I can’t help it.

Are we all justified to wallow in self-pity for awhile? It just doesn’t seem right when to get attention for pity. I don’t like being pitied either.

I placed so much trust in a person I didn’t really know. The way it backfired just set me back in so much shock and pain that thinking about it made me want to hurl. Like literally wanna hurl. It’s such a sick feeling in the stomach.

There’s no point to this blog post.

I just needed to say:

“so this is how it feels.”

Continue reading “so this is how it feels.” »

Hello Earthlings, it is I returning to you for a not so regular update on how I’m not dead yet.

Just scrolled through my own blog (yes all 25pages of it) and realised what an angry bitch I was. Perhaps in many sense I probably still is and how I’ve laughed at myself while scrolling through all these entries. Note to myself, I should really spell check some of my stuff and stop blogging in 1337 or internetspeak.

I’m still not going to do anything about the broken comments link cause I am lazy. The links on the sidebar don’t work either cause I can’t really be bothered. All I need is a nice blank spot for me to rant.

Scrolling through the back entries also made me realised how little I’ve blogged in 2009 which I have believed was a superbly shitty year. Can’t always wallow in the past. Let’s move on to happier things.

….

I think my only wish now is to return to London as soon as I can.

Continue reading “Since I’m here I might as well blog” »

I had another one of those zombie apocalypse dreams again.

This one was super vivid.
I was at some sort of a game launch with a few friends ( Dawn, Sharon, sz and isabel you gaiz were there) . It was super late at night and I was commenting on how crazy gamers are to wait out so late at night for this. We kinda fell aslp.

Next thing I know, we were woken up abruptly by a staff who mentioned “You guys better get up, they’re coming this way.”

“they?” WHO THEY??? DEY SI BO???

*cues tank music* We see a boss zombie. GOOD JOB people, I came for a game launch, not a freaking zombie apocalypse. We ran for our lives. Ran INTO a building, not the smartest thing to do but we supposed there are weapons inside. There were, but not before we had to outrun a horde of zombie nurses in pink uniform (told you it was vivid) which we stood there trying to make out if they were humans or zombies for a good 10 seconds.

It was only after they started running towards us I was like “ARGHHHHHH RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN”. So yes. We did manage weapons in the end and collection of many different types of equipment that we needed. The torchlight was vital, main power supplies were cut off, it was scary in the dark.

Like fucking omgimmashitinmypants scary.

I don’t remember how we got out in the end but yes, remind me NOT to go for game launches in the middle of the night which may possibly involve zombies. Thank you.

GG you gaiz.

Continue reading “OHAY my 625394273423th zombie apocalypse dream.” »

my brain amazes me, it just refuses to give me a rest. Just yesterday I has a myriad of dreams so vivid.

It started out with me being in a beautiful house that is decorated in mainly blue and white with beautiful sunlight streaming in most parts of the day and I was discussing how I’d like to convert one of the rooms to a work studio. There were 4 toilets. Don’t ask me why there’re so many, there just is.

Then I was getting ready to go out. It’s not Singapore for sure and the landscapes were beautiful. Like “Sound of Music” beautiful, green and vast with beautiful skies. I could lie down there and daydream all day.

Then there was an airport theme restaurant with little airplane cockpit rooms to dine in. I swear this has to exist somewhere or someone is going to steal this idea. CREDIT BACK YOU GUYS.

I was taking pictures in my dreams and I’d wake up confused, check my camera to see if it’s all real.
Evidently not. :<

I want that house.

Continue reading “OMG SO MANY DREAMS” »

I have a couple of days in Singapore before I head off again for work but it’s been jammed pack with stuff to do and I feel so breathless.

nonetheless, I am glad to be doing something which I deem to be productive in the long run (except the part about ruining my hair yesterday but it was fun though).

Hansel’s opening later. I’m pretty excited about meeting my ex-lecturer and Jo later.

Continue reading “This is crazy ridiculous” »

This is the traffic graph of my other blog http://monoxious.com

Due to the good fortune of our readers, we were nominated as the Nuffnang top 5 fashion blogs of the region alongside HUGE names like Fashionation and Bryanboy.

We’re only 5 mths old so this is a really huge honor for us.

Make us even prouder~!!!
Vote for us http://awards.nuffnang.com/votes.php

A point to note is that you HAVE to vote for every category and press on “Next” until the last category and click on “Submit” for the vote to go through. VOTE FOR MONOXIOUS in the FASHION category.

And look out for more exciting posts on monoxious over the next few weeks!

Continue reading “THE ROOF IS ON FAIAH.” »

I’m not one who deals with loss easily.

It’s been a crazy week but I shan’t elaborate, if you know, you know. I would tell you if I feel like it. If I don’t then stfu and gtfo, don’t ask, don’t do anything.

Sometimes I find myself laughable, with the blatant truth right in front of me, I can easily con myself into thinking it’s not like that. To skew reality to fit my ideal, I think there’s better uses for this talent of mine.

I’m not trying to be cliche about this but I have no more tears to shed, either that, or it’s not worth it. I’d like to think it’s the latter.

Goodbye.

Continue reading “Of truth, realisation; life and heartbreak” »

ILU GAIZ

Continue reading “I love my friends” »

Monkey drew some cute stuff yesterday.

Continue reading “Snow Leopard” »

zer0 and I were talking today about wanting some stuff but when we finally do, it seems less significant than when we didn’t have it.

I think it is human to want what we don’t have. Like my 7868366372 Irongate prints. They feel insignificant after you’ve own so many of them somehow. but that aside, I wonder if humans are really cut out to “live out dreams”, since it just feels like another checklist.

Of cos I’m not implying that people who achieve their dreams are stupid or wadever. I am chasing my dreams too. But I think dreams are [ never ending ]. They are achieved and re-spawned. They should never be just one dream.

Chase your dreams everyone.

Continue reading “Of thoughts, aspirations and getting what you want” »

I went to Greece lately.

click me

Continue reading “I has a new post” »

I apologise for the lack of posterity. My world is a whirlwind of problems right now, everything is uncertain and sometimes I wonder if I have any friends left at all. It’s my emo period, let me wallow in self-pity for awhile, I promise to come out of it.

In the meantime, some pictures to keep u entertained and distracted.

Chrysler building. I miss NYC

With Jingna at the Singapore Toy and comic convention.

A ridiculous $96 T-rex that does (^^)v

A happy puppy~! Happy to see you~!! :3
My cousin’s puppy is super adorable. She seems to be teething and aims straight at your toes and fingers to gnaw on.

Continue reading “I’m sorry” »

i’m sorry, this blog is not dead.

I do feel like I’m dying though. A few things I’ve noticed about me through some self reflection of late.

I do feel that I rely too much on the words of people that don’t matter and let them affect me instead of focusing on the words of people close to me.

There are certain things way beyond my control, some things happen for a reason, I believe. I hold in good faith that it will eventually be a good thing. I have a friend who can vouch for that and I will believe in it.

And now to channel this extra energy into some other things like Dawn says.

Continue reading “lack of posts” »

I have a cousin who is capable.
She is one of those people who actually enjoys studying.

In fact she is so good at what she does, she was offered a place in Oxford.
Yes, THE Oxford, where your fucking dictionaries come from.

Unfortunately for her, her family isn’t able to afford Oxford and the various institutions she applied to for monetary aid did not get back to her.
And she’s got to settle for a PhD in NTU.

All she said was:”it’s ok..there is both gain n loss no matter if i go oxford or nt :)”
the smiley included.

What a sensible girl.

I wish I had been able to offer some monetary aid or if the rest of the family would be able to chip in. I will not go into details.

I want to be able to have the monetary means to exceed my child’s abilities, be it academics, music, dance, arts or wadever.

Continue reading “Of thoughts and monetary issues.” »

I’ve been wildly obsessive with this game.

It’s almost a srs case of OCD.

yeahhhhhhhhh~

Continue reading “Tap Tap Revenge” »